Til Death Do Us Part?
by Discarnate
Summary: What happens when an aspiring wrestler goes along to the WWE's Survivor Series PPV, and ends up being dragged into a situation that she thinks is a work... but ends up being real? Read to find out! EdgeOCMatt JeffOC
1. Chapter 1

_Hiya! I'm back with a new story. I just encountered major blockage with World Wrestling Entertainment Presents…, so sorry for those of you that liked it, but I won't be continuing that one. _

_So here we have my new fic, once again centred around Elli Craven and Kitten and featuring the usual suspects: John Cena, Randy Orton, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Edge, Ken Kennedy, Chris Jericho, Mickie James, Ashley, Candice Michelle, Torrie Wilson and many, many more. This first chapter was written before Survivor Series and Chris Jericho's return, so if things are different, that's not my fault; it's the WWE's fault for not playing along with my delusional world. _

_The inspiration for this came from a web comic I stumbled across, www dot marrymemovie dot com. Check it out. It's awesome. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise. I don't even own the plot. All I own is this laptop and a vivid imagination. _

_Enjoy!_

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_It's been four months. Four months is a long time. It's especially long in this business, where feuds and alliances are made and broken within the space of a heartbeat and you can go from jobber to main-eventer and back again between one pay-per-view and the next. _

It's been torture, watching from the sidelines, watching as the company has moved forward and feeling like I've been left behind. It shouldn't matter – I'm back now – but it does. I feel like I've been forgotten in favour of other, older Superstars, and I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

It's time to make damn sure that nobody ever forgets me. I feel... reckless. Time to do something that will be talked about for years to come. It's time to do something stupid.

--- 

"OH YEAHHH!" I sang along to Matt Hardy's entrance theme at the top of my lungs, accompanied by his trademark 'V1' salute. Kit and I were heading to the Survivor Series Pay-Per-View event in Miami that evening and, as this was to be my first ever WWE live event, I was more than a little excited.

Kit and I had been best friends for years, and were so close that we had claimed each other as sisters a long time ago. We had moved to Florida, me from London and her from Ohio, a couple of years ago in search of a new life and were loving every minute of it. We were both passionate about wrestling and had forced our way into the local indy scene within about five minutes of landing in Orlando. We spent most of our free time training at FXE Pro Wrestling Academy and then demonstrating what we had learned at various cramped, smelly venues scattered around the dodgier areas of town. We topped up the meagre money we got from that with jobs in a local record store and often dreamed about making it big in the wrestling world.

We had been given ringside tickets to Survivor Series as a reward from our trainer, AJ, for winning all of our matches in the last month. It wasn't all pleasure though – we were also supposed to be meeting Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley after the show to talk about how the shows were put together for TV, as AJ was looking to push his promotion as far as possible. Kit was especially excited about this meeting, as she adored Steph, and there was also a good chance that Steph's husband Hunter, known to the wider world as Triple H, would also be there. We'd met Hunter and his partner in crime, Shawn Michaels – Kit's personal wrestling god – a couple of times as they'd hosted some workshops at FXE. Shawn had been particularly taken with Kit, excited to find that he had a 'super fan', and he occasionally emailed her to check on her progress.

I grinned as I looked at myself in the mirror – a pair of flared black pants with pink pinstripes and a fitted pink mesh shirt over a black crop top showed off my hard-worked-for athletic physique to perfection. My hair was shoulder-length, dyed black with pink highlights, and I sang loudly as I prepared to beat it into submission with my straighteners.

"Oi!" I ducked just in time as a hairbrush was launched at my head. "Do you mind? My ears are bleeding," Kit grumbled as she wandered through from her room. She looked stunning in skin-tight, hunter green vinyl pants and a black cropped DX shirt, her long brown hair loose but brushed back from her face.

"It's only AFI," I protested.

"I stand by what I said," she retorted with a grin. I stuck my tongue out at her and returned to the task in hand.

"Anyway, I'm just excited," I continued as I concentrated on my hair. "We'll be ring-side. I'll be close enough to grope Matt Hardy."

"Yeah, but on the downside you'll be close enough to Masters to get sucked into his ass," she replied with a shudder. "I swear if that thing comes anywhere near me I'm going to grab the person next to me, throw them at it and run and hope it doesn't eat me." I giggled; Kit and I had a theory that Chris Masters' backside was an entity in its own right and had its own gravitational pull; it moved even when he was standing still, and generated an aura of menacing evil.

"I don't think they'd be happy with that plan," I pointed out.

"Rather them than me, I'm not taking any chances!" Kit said, folding her arms stubbornly.

"Anyway, isn't he still suspended?" I asked, remembering the notification I'd seen on a few weeks ago. "I think we'll be safe."

"We're still on the same continent, nowhere's safe!" said Kit melodramatically, and turned her attention towards trying to find her boots.

Half an hour later we were ready to go. I felt the excitement build as we hurried down the stairs of our apartment block and headed out to the garage and towards my car, a 2001 Ford Fiesta I absolutely adored.

"Oops, forgot something!" said Kit, throwing her bag onto the passenger seat. She disappeared back up the stairs and reappeared moments later with a huge banner that simply said 'Marry Me!'. I groaned as we got into the car.

"Do I really have to hold that?" I grumbled as she stowed it reverentially on the seat.

"Yep!" she replied with a grin. "It could be your only chance to snag Matt Hardy and I think you should take it."

"In that case, why doesn't it say 'Marry Me Matt'? Or does someone want to hog half of it and direct it towards Jeff during the match?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Kit innocently and I snorted.

"Yeah, well, if someone like Snitsky thinks it's for him, I'm throwing you to him and be damned with the consequences," I warned and put the gear into drive. We continued bickering for most of the 200-mile journey, but as we got nearer and nearer to the American Airlines Arena the talk switched to the possible outcomes of tonight's matches.

Even though it was two hours before show time when we got there, the queue to get in snaked right the way around the block. Thankfully the tickets we had also included a VIP pass, so we just walked to the front of the queue, flashed our passes and we were in.

The atmosphere inside was incredible. There was a definite buzz of excitement in the air and I stood still for a moment, drinking it all in until a vicious jab in the kidneys from Kit indicated that she wanted to get on, and we wandered over to the merch stall. I bought an Undertaker shirt – he had been my wrestling idol since I was seven years old – and Kit bought a HBK hat, placing it at a jaunty angle on her head. We then retired to the bar, where we discussed the possibility of Chris Jericho making his return tonight with a couple of other fans.

Finally, with half an hour to go, we took our seats at ringside. Kit unfurled the banner and placed it over the security wall in front of my seat. I glared at her but didn't argue; it would be futile, and would only get me hit, so I just shrugged and accepted it. The atmosphere was electric at this point and as random chants were started up and taken up by the majority of the crowd I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Kit and I joined in with a 'Hardys!' chant and finally, as the lights dimmed and the opening pyro went off, I screamed my head off along with the rest of the crowd as JR and King welcomed us to the pay-per-view.

The first match to be announced was a Triple Threat match for the vacant Cruiserweight Title. Kit and I cheered ourselves hoarse as Shannon Moore came out first, and booed the other two – Jimmy Wang Yang and Jamie Noble. Unfortunately, Shannon didn't win – Jamie Noble won the title, pinning Jimmy Wang Yang after knocking Shannon to the outside of the ring. Shannon crashed into the security wall right by where Kit and I were sat and we both groaned loudly as he made impact, but he got to his feet, shook his head and gave the crowd a grin before rolling back into the ring to exchange some heated words with Noble, who was celebrating with the title.

Then a backstage vignette showing Vince and Hornswoggle was shown on the Titan-tron. I didn't pay much attention to this, preferring instead to debate with Kit about how Shane and Steph felt about the whole Hornswoggle thing and why they hadn't come out and beat up their dad for it yet. Kit maintained that they were just biding their time and that we would see the McMahon kids turn on their father eventually, but agreed with me that she was also getting impatient for this to happen.

The next match was for the Women's Title, Beth Phoenix versus Victoria, who had cheated her way to victory during a Number One Contender Battle Royal on last week's RAW. I wasn't terribly interested in this match, not liking either Diva very much, so I opted to run to the bar and get us more drinks instead. I timed the run brilliantly, as the match was over by the time I got back.

The next match was a traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match, and the match that Kit and I had been most looking forward to. We went wild as the team consisting of Hunter, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio and Kane made their way to the ring. I almost swooned as Matt Hardy passed incredibly close to me, and Kit was wide-eyed and almost drooling at the close proximity of Jeff. Almost as soon as she started staring Hunter appeared to glance over and frown, causing me to giggle and not be able to stop.

"Nutter," Kit muttered at me and I grinned back at her and concentrated on booing the other team, consisting of Umaga, Mr Kennedy, MVP, Finlay and Big Daddy V.

The match started with Kennedy and Jeff facing each other. As usual Kennedy wasn't really any match for Jeff's high-flying offense and he quickly tagged in Umaga, who set about squashing Jeff. After a series of extremely painful-looking squashes Jeff managed to get back to his corner and tagged in Hunter, who attacked the Samoan fatty with a ferocity that was quite scary. He Irish-whipped Umaga into the turnbuckle where the rest of Umaga's team were gathered and MVP tagged himself in.

The match was fast-paced and furious and I lost count so many times of who was the legal man. First to be eliminated was Big Daddy V, falling foul of a vicious Pedigree from Hunter. Kennedy fell to a Twist of Fate/Swanton Bomb from the Hardys, and unfortunately Rey got eliminated when he attempted a Springboard Splash on Finlay but MVP intervened, knocking him off the top rope. MVP continued to be a thorn in Hunter's team's side, interfering again to get Jeff eliminated before arrogantly starting to push Matt, his tag-team partner, around. Matt of course was having none of it and after MVP had eliminated Matt and then been eliminated himself by Kane quickly after, the two of them continued brawling outside the ring.

Finlay was then eliminated by Kane, leaving Umaga the only one standing in that team, facing Hunter and Kane. They got the win when MVP, trying to escape Matt, ran into the ring and accidentally knocked Umaga down; while the ref was distracted with trying to get MVP out of the ring – MVP being reluctant to do so given that both Kane and Matt were waiting for him on the outside – Hunter low blowed Umaga with his trusty sledgehammer and then hit the Pedigree for the win once MVP had been dragged out of the ring by Matt.

After the match, a backstage segment was shown with Vickie Guerrero berating both Matt and MVP for their behaviour at ringside. She ended the segment by saying "If you want to hurt each other so much, I'm putting you in a match," and made a no-DQ match for the US Title later on. I squealed like a total fangirl at the announcement, hoping that Matt would be able to silence MVP once and for all.

After that another of the 'SaveUs" videos that had been showing for weeks now on RAW aired, sending the crowd into another frenzy. The cheering got even louder when the lights dimmed, Chris Jericho's entrance music started to play and a shadowy figure strode into the ring. The cheers quickly turned to boos when the lights came up revealing not the man we had all been expecting for quite some time now, but Edge. He was stood right in the centre of the ring with his trademark smirk firmly in place, relishing the heat he was getting from the crowd.

"I'm sorry, were you expecting someone else?" he asked, prompting another wave of boos and chants of 'Jericho!'. "Well, I'm back," he said, spreading his arms and grinning. "Did you miss me?" Another wave of boos, and he smirked and nodded his head. "It's been a long time since you've had the pleasure of seeing me in action. I put my body on the line for you, and nobody cares? I'm hurt, really. I mean, I ripped my pectoral muscle right off the bone. It hurt. I shouldn't even be here right now, I should still be 'resting', but here I am, ready to take on anybody who wants it, ready to prove once again that I am the best... ready to take my title back." Another wave of boos, which didn't appear to affect him in the slightest. Kit and I appeared to be the only ones laughing but then we could never hate Edge, no matter how much of an asshole he acted; he was just too funny to be able to hate completely.

"You know, it's been a long few months," Edge continued, still seemingly oblivious to the abuse that he was receiving. "It's been a long, -boring- few months. You know what I need? I need to do something... fun..." A shiver ran down my spine at those words, as it appeared as though he'd looked directly at me. My heart leapt into my throat and my stomach churned with nerves as he walked to the edge of the ring and gestured. "You there, with the sign. Come on up here." I froze. Surely he couldn't have meant me? I wasn't the only one around with a sign, anyway. "Come on, you. With the pink hair. Get up here, and bring that sign," he ordered again. I half rose out of my seat hesitantly, but Kit had other ideas; within seconds I had been propelled over the security wall and had landed on my ass, right in front of all these thousands of people.

"I hate you!" I growled at Kit, who was looking beautifully innocent. I shook my head and made my way nervously into the ring, taking hold of Edge's hand that he had outstretched. I was suddenly painfully aware that my palms were all sweaty, and my throat seemed dry. Edge seemed completely oblivious to my nerves, however.

"Hey, what's your name?" asked Edge.

"Elli," I replied, trying to sound cool but my voice came out as a sort of squeak.

"So, Elli, that your sign? The 'Marry Me' one?"

"Yeah, that's hers," Kit called and I shot her a glare.

"Yeah. What she said," I said, shaking my hair back at the same time as flipping her the Vs.

"Great," said Edge, grinning broadly. He took hold of my hand and pulled me closer; I started to feel slightly light-headed and hoped I wouldn't faint. "In that case, I accept your proposal. In fact, I think we should get married as soon as possible. You up for getting married right now?"

"Sure," I replied with a grin. It has to be part of the show, I thought as Edge asked if there were any ministers authorised to do marriages in the building. It's a work, and Kit's in on it, that's why she shoved me out here. I reasoned that if Kit was in on it then AJ would have been as well, and mentally cursed the pair of them out. While it had always been my dream to be part of the WWE, I would have preferred not to make a complete tit out of myself during one of the main pay-per-views of the season.

A little old man was escorted to the ring by security. He announced that he was authorised to perform marriage ceremonies and went through the whole, this shouldn't be taken lightly, blah blah spiel. We stood in the middle of the ring and Vince and Coach came out to act as witnesses. The minister took us through some simple, generic vows which we repeated, some rings were miraculously produced probably from the costume department as they looked as though they were made of cheap tin, and then the minister instructed Edge that he could kiss the bride. I don't know why I was only expecting a kiss on the cheek or maybe on the lips, but I was completely unprepared for the full-on, tongues and all assault I received. It was actually a pretty good kiss and I was glad that Edge had hold of me around the waist, because my knees suddenly went weak. I was vaguely aware of someone shoving some paperwork under my nose and me signing it, and then I started walking back to my seat.

"Hey, where are you going?" Edge demanded, grabbing hold of my arm and pulling me back.

"Back to my seat, for the rest of the show," I replied, raising my eyebrow at him. He threw his head back and laughed.

"No, no, no, no, no. We're married now. You're coming with me." I laughed.

"Yeah, right. That was all part of the show, right?"

"No, no it wasn't. It was something I just decided to do just now. Crazy, huh? I'm amazed Vince went along with it, he doesn't usually like improv being sprung on him like that," Edge replied with a grin.

"Wait. Wait. Oh shit!" I said, panic setting in as I realised what had actually happened. "You mean... you mean we're actually married? No. No, that's not right!"

"Looks like Edge's new wife isn't too happy about something, King," I heard JR say.

"Probably the fact that she just got married to Edge," King replied and I started to laugh hysterically.

"So we're married, then? Actually, properly, 'til death us do part married, yeah?"

"That's right." Edge started laughing too. "It's pretty wild, hey? I mean, we don't even know each other."

"No, we don't." I started squealing with nervous laughter, clasping my hands over my mouth to try and muffle the sounds. I tried to think of something remotely intelligent to say, but my brain failed me and in the end I just settled for, "Oh, fuck!" as the Wedding March played and Edge swept me into his arms and carried me out into the back.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed Chapter 1. I'm having a lot of fun with this concept, so let's just see where it takes me - because as of right now, I have no idea. _

_Here's part two. Usual disclaimers apply. Have fun! And, if you like it, hate it or want to know what the hell is going on in my head, leave a review. Thanks! _

_-Ells. _

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My mind was a whirl as Edge carried me backstage. How the hell had I ended up married to someone I didn't even know? And more importantly, why had I gone along with it? Even though I thought it was a gimmick, what had made me get into the ring in the first place, let alone say 'I do'?

A large part of it was probably the fact that Kit had dumped me over the barrier in the first place, issuing a sort of non-verbal dare, and I never, ever backed down from a dare no matter how stupid. And I also suspected that my inner attention whore had spotted an opportunity, not only to show off in front of millions of people, but also to get a shot at the WWE – because surely, as Edge's kayfabe wife, Vince would have given me a contract? Only something had gone horribly wrong with the universe and I was now Edge's real-life wife instead.

"I can't believe we're actually married," I said for what was probably the millionth time that evening. "Why didn't you warn me that it was real?"

"It's more fun this way," Edge replied with a grin.

"More fun? Or is it more due to the fact that since you've split up with Lita the only way you can get girls is by trickery?" I asked with a glare.

"I can see that this marriage is going to be somewhat feisty," Edge remarked drily.

"No it won't because there is no marriage, first thing in the morning we're going to go and get it annulled, aren't we?" I demanded, an edge of hysteria creeping into my voice.

"Like hell we are! At the very least, it'll be interesting to see if it works out. I mean, they manage it in India," Edge pointed out.

"Yes, but the difference is in India the bride and groom's families got together to discuss it years before the event, it's not like picking some random person out of the crowd," I countered. "And you can put me down now, I am capable of walking, you know," I added as an afterthought.

"Yeah, and you're also capable of running, and the second I put you down you'll bolt for the exit," said Edge, displaying remarkable insight for a man.

"If I promise not to run, will you put me down?" I asked with a pout.

"No."

"Put me the fuck down!" I started to struggle and Edge tightened his grip on me.

"Hey, don't do that, I'll drop you!" he protested. That only made me struggle harder and harder, until eventually Edge had no choice but to drop me – right onto the Chairman of the Board.

"Sorry!" I said brightly as I sprang to my feet and helped a red-faced, swearing Vince to his feet. "He wouldn't put me down."

"So I saw," said Vince, a smile appearing on his face so suddenly that it was almost scary. "Well, congratulations you two. Edge, I must admit, when I saw what you were doing I was not happy. Your little stunt could have had serious repercussions on our plans for you, but Steph managed to persuade me that it was good for ratings. And you know, I think she might be right, the message boards have been going mad." He stepped between us, wrapping his arms around our shoulders. "Our fans love the angle, especially with Lita returning next month..."

"Lita's coming back?" asked Edge, looking startled.

"Yes, Steph spoke to her about twenty minutes ago, and Lita said she wanted to return," said Vince with a malicious smirk on his face.

"Oh, so your ex girlfriend's coming back? That should be fun!" I said brightly, and Edge glared at me.

"Indeed it will, which is why I wanted to speak to you," said Vince, leading me away from Edge. "A bitter ex feuding with the new woman would be very good for ratings, so I want to talk to you about a contract."

"A contract? You want me to join?" I squeaked, excitement flooding through me as I covered my mouth with my hands and squealed.

"Don't worry, for the first month you'll just be expected to accompany Edge to the ring and look sexy, in between tapings you can work with Dave Finlay so that by the time Lita returns..."

"No, no, no, no, it's all right, I can wrestle, I'm part of FXE Pro Wrestling Academy, my sister and I are their top students and AJ was going to push us to OVW when the next round of tryouts took place," I babbled.

"You'll still need to work with Finlay; he trains all of the Divas and he'll need to assess how ready you are for WWE programming and whether you would be able to wrestle on live TV," said Vince. "But until we get the go-ahead from him, you just get to stand around and look pretty. Think you can do that?"

"Think you can manage not to sound so bloody patronising?" I snapped back, folding my arms and glaring. Vince laughed and clapped Edge on the shoulder.

"You sure know how to pick the feisty ones. Good luck. You, Elli, wasn't it? Welcome to the WWE. I'll have a contract drawn up for you by the end of the night." He shook my hand and made to walk off.

"Hang on a minute though," I said quickly; Kit would kill me if I got in and didn't use the opportunity to try and get her in, too. "What about my sister? I won't go anywhere without her. This is her dream just as much as mine, she's just as good, if not better, than me in the ring, and we team up well."

"What?" An incredulous look passed across Vince's face. "So wait, you're saying that unless your sister joins too, you won't sign up?" I nodded, folding my arms and ggiving him a stubborn glare.

"That's right. We've beaten men as a team," I pointed out. "I think the fans would dig it." Vince just shrugged and turned to walk away.

"Oh, well. Shame. It was a nice idea. See you around."

"Daddy, wait!" A commanding voice called from the other end of the corridor. Steph McMahon ran up, flashing a brief grin at me before turning to her father. "Why don't we get her sister in too? You're always complaining about the lack of talent in the women's division. This could be a real opportunity to improve it."

"And what if they suck? What then?" demanded Vince.

"Then we hand them over to Fit Finlay for training. I mean, look what a great job he did with Candice," she pointed out.

"I know, but I can't really justify spending out that much money on an additional salary just in case they might be a good wrestler," Vince countered.

"Then we'll get rid of Brooke, I don't like her anyway, that frees up a salary for you," said Steph with a glint in her eye. "Even you've got to admit that she was useless, so if this girl's sister isn't any good, we're no worse off than we are now. Come on, Daddy, pleeeeease?" I recognised that tone with accompanying pout. This was classic 'daughter winding Daddy round her little finger'. And, like every father in the world, Vince fell for it.

"All right, princess. She can be your little project."

"Yay! Thank you, Daddy!" squealed Steph, hugging Vince around the waist. He chuckled, shook his head and walked off. Steph turned to face me with a big grin.

"You owe me," she said. "Welcome to the WWE. I'm Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, head of Talent Relations and the top bitch in this company. You got a problem with anybody, up to and including my father, you come to me, okay?"

"Okay, thanks," I replied, shaking her hand with a warm smile. She grinned and threw her arm around my shoulders.

"Sorry Edge, but I'm going to have to steal your wife away for a half hour or so."

"Aw, man! We only just got married," Edge pouted. "Make sure you bring her back. I've got plans for her this evening."

"Oh, you have, have you?" I glared at him. "Well I just hope they involve a big bottle of Jack Daniels. I'm in the mood to get utterly shitfaced tonight."

"I don't blame you in the slightest," said Steph, dragging me away from Edge before he could respond and ushering me into an office. We sat down on opposite sides of a huge oak desk and my gaze travelled up to where a huge screen in the corner was showing the current match, which was CM Punk vs Johnny Nitro vs The Miz. I grimaced and turned back to Steph, who turned to the TV to see who I was making faces at.

"What... oh. Which one was that face for?" she asked, a sneer on her face as Nitro paraded around the ring, taunting Punk instead of getting on with the job at hand.

"Nitro. I've never been able to stand the bloke, although I used to love watching him wrestle Carlito for the IC title," I replied.

"Yeah, Carlito was cool before he turned into a bastard, but that's this business. It can sometimes turn you into something you never thought you could be," said Steph sagely. "Okay, we need to get your sister in here. Where's she sat? I'll send someone over to fetch her."

"Ah, damn, my ticket's in my bag, which she's got," I replied. "She's at ringside. Shawn Michaels knows who she is. She's his super fan."

"Ah," said Steph, comprehension dawning on her face. "I've heard of you two. Shawn couldn't stop going on about these girls he'd met in Florida who were good and we should sign them on a developmental contract as soon as possible. Of course Hunter thought he was just being all giddy about finding a fan who knew more about his career than he personally remembers, which is why your sister hasn't been kidnapped yet. Her name's Kitten, right? And your ring name's Elli Craven?"

"That's right. Kit will be pleased that Shawn likes her already," I said with a grin, eagerly anticipating the meeting between the two.

"I bet." Steph pulled out her mobile and dialled a number. "Hey sweetie, it's me. Your wife, who else – that better have been a joke, mister." She rolled her eyes at me'. "Is Shawn with you? I... what do you mean, green paint? No, I don't even want to know. Just send him in to me, will you? I've got a job for him. No, you can't do it. Because I said so, now stop being a baby and send him in. I married an idiot," she added with a fond smile as she hung up.

"Surely that's why you married him? Smart men are a lot harder to control," I pointed out.

"You know it. So," she said, leaning across the desk conspiratorially. "What on Earth made you decide to marry Edge this evening?"

"I thought it was a work," I replied honestly. "I mean, come on, what are the chances of a priest being present? If I'd known it was real, I'd never have done it."

"He surprised us all with that," Steph admitted. "I mean, I know he'd promised something spectacular for his return but none of us had any idea that he'd gone completely batshit crazy."

"And I've married that man," I sighed. "I've married a man I know nothing about, aside from the fact that he's a wrestler, he's a heel yet everyone seems to love him, and he's been married twice. By the way, good call in getting Lita back."

"Yeah, I thought it'd be interesting, the ex turns up and causes trouble between her former lover and his new wife. Of course, it'd be fun from a girl's point of view if you were to become bosom buddies and really freak him the fuck out, but from a business point of view it'd be good if you hated each other on sight and tried to kill each other every week," Steph grinned. "Oh, hi Shawn," she added as Shawn wandered in without knocking.

"Hey Steph, hey... I know you from somewhere..." said Shawn thoughtfully, waving his finger vaguely at me, his brow creasing in a frown. "You're... girl from the indies, Elli... Elli Craven, right?" I nodded, and he brightened. "Elli Craven! Does that mean Kitten's here? Where is she?"

"She's sitting ringside, she..." I got no further as Shawn raced out of the room. I burst out laughing, hoping desperately that the cameras caught the moment that Shawn collided with Kit. Steph seemed to have the same idea as she turned to look at the screen. Sure enough, Shawn ran down the ramp, causing JBL and Cole to wonder why he was trying to interrupt Batista and Undertaker's Hell In A Cell match, and even Batista and Taker stopped trying to kill each other to watch him curiously. Suddenly he dived into the crowd and when he reappeared, he was dragging a stunned-looking Kit behind him. They disappeared backstage, leaving JBL and Cole demanding to know what the hell was going on, and Taker just shrugged and continued hitting Batista with a steel chair.

Moments later, Shawn burst back through the door. He grinned broadly and hugged Kit to him.

"I found her! I found my fan!" he said happily. Kit looked completely shellshocked.

"Shawn... Shawn Michaels... I... hugging... Shawn..."

"Remember to breathe, sweetie," I laughed.

"I can't! Shawn, you're squashing me!" Shawn laughed and released her.

"Sorry about that, princess. Steph, this is my super fan, Kitten. I knew you wanted to see her, so I, uh..." Shawn trailed off, rubbing the back of his head vaguely. "What was it you wanted me to do?"

"Actually, I wanted you to fetch her. You can go now," said Steph, gesturing for Kit to pull up a chair beside me.

"But... but... Kitten..." Shawn pouted, his lower lip trembling.

"You can catch up after the show; right now you have a match to prepare for. Shoo."

"I'm going to tell Hunter on you," Shawn muttered sullenly as he left the room.

"Yeah, like I'm scared of my husband," said Steph brightly. "Anyway, hi, you must be Kitten. I'm Stephanie McMahon."

"Hi," said Kit vaguely, still looking like she wasn't quite sure what had just happened and expected to wake up at any moment.

"I asked Shawn to bring you here because your sister married Edge this evening," Steph continued.

"Yeah, I know," Kit snickered, looking smug.

"Did you know that it was real? That wasn't part of the show, Kit, I am actually, seriously, properly married to him," I grumbled.

"Seriously?" Kit burst out laughing.

"Well, we've got the lawyers looking into the legality of it, but sure, as things stand, they're married," Steph said. "Anyway, so given that Edge decided to go crazy and do this thing, we decided to give her a contract because we've got Lita returning next month and we thought it'd be fun, anyway, she wouldn't sign up without you, so, do you want to be a Diva?"

"What? I... yes..." said Kit, looking completely stunned and staring between me and Steph as if she suspected a practical joke.

"Great! Welcome aboard, you two. I'll get the contracts to you by the end of the night. Now, very quickly, the schedule. We do RAW live on a Monday, then tape ECW and Smackdown on Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday are typically days off although we may schedule you in for some personal appearances, Fridays, or sometimes Thursday nights if we've got a long way to travel, are spent travelling to the next place, and the weekends are house shows and of course the PPVs every few weeks. You are not required to attend all house shows, you will be notified whether you are working them or not, and if not you can do whatever you damn well please, however attendance at your brand's show is mandatory. Any questions?"

"Um... what do we do now?" asked Kit.

"Right now? It's a PPV. Everybody's here. Go and mingle! I'll come and find you later once I've banged out the contracts, okay? And don't be scared. We're just one big happy family here." She showed us out and, once the door slammed behind us, we stood in the corridor and just stared at each other.

"I... don't know whether to run down the hall screaming, or to wake myself up," said Kit, sounding dazed. "What just happened?"

"We got signed up. Although from what Steph said earlier I think Shawn had already put in a good word for us, you getting me married to Edge really sealed it. Speaking of which, I'd better go and find my husband," I sighed.

"Behind you, babe." I spun round and smiled wearily at Edge as he grinned at me.

"Hi. Meet my sister, Kit. Kit, my husband. Kit's joining the company too."

"Awesome! Hey, you know, we could get a really cool faction going, the three of us..."

"Hands off, she's mine!" Shawn boomed, running up to place himself directly between Kit and Edge. "She's mine, I found her, my fan, get your own!"

"Oh, how sweet, I've got a lord protector already," laughed Kit.

"Of course you have, princess," said Shawn, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Someone's got to keep you away from unsavoury characters." He shot a glare at Edge as he said this.

"Hey, I'm not that bad!" Edge protested. "Don't you have a match on, anyway?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to deliver Kit to the locker room first. Hunter can look after her while I'm fighting. Come on, princess!" She shot me a half-panicked look as he led her away, chattering away happily without even noticing that she wasn't responding. I smiled, shook my head and turned to Edge.

"What do we do now?"

"We could head back to the hotel, I guess?" he suggested. I gave a half-shrug, half-nod and followed him as he led the way out to the parking lot.

Ten minutes later I was sat with him in his hotel room, suddenly feeling unaccountably nervous. What would he be expecting of me? Would he want sex? Well if he did, he wouldn't be getting any... I shifted uncomfortably as he grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and two glasses from the minibar and sat down on the bed next to me.

"Will you relax? I'm not going to try anything, I promise." I accepted my drink from him and scooted up the bed so that my back was resting against the headboard, and drew my legs up to my chest.

"I mean it. I'm not going to try anything. I just want to get to know the woman I just married, that's all," he reiterated, sitting with his back against the wall immediately in front of me. "Come on, uncurl," he said, patting his legs. "I won't bite, I promise. I'll save that for when we're really drunk and really horny." I snorted and started to relax, stretching my legs out across his. He let his hand fall lightly across my shins and grinned. "See? I'm not totally the arrogant asshole you see on TV. Although I am sexy and if you did, you know, find yourself unable to restrain yourself later you're quite welcome to throw yourself at me."

"Yeah, keep dreaming," I laughed. "I don't sleep with men I don't even know."

"But you do know me, you see me on TV every week," he pointed out.

"Ah, but you just said you're not totally like that," I countered.

"No, but you could say that the person you see on TV is an exaggeration of what I'm like," he said thoughtfully. "You know? Some parts of my character have just been... overstated."

"All right, then," I said, wriggling a bit to make myself more comfortable. "Tell me, where does Edge end and Adam Copeland begin?"

We spent the rest of the night getting to know each other and getting really, really drunk. It was a surreal feeling, getting to know my own husband; whenever I'd pictured my wedding I'd always imagined that it would be to someone I was actually in love with. Still, Edge was funny, witty, charming, and not exactly bad-looking. It could have been worse, I thought as I closed my eyes and felt him wrap his arms around me. It could have been Big Daddy V.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hello, dear readers! I hope you've had a wonderful Christmas/whatever winter holiday you celebrate. Sorry for the lack of updates, but I got distracted by Smackdown vs RAW 2008. I made a guy called Fenrir, and he kicks ass. Is pretty, too ._

_Thanks to those who reviewed! Your encouragement always helps. I promise to try and work faster in future. However, rejoice because the next chapter is here! Yay! _

_Like it? Hate it? Leave a review and let me know! _

_Kisses, Ells xxx_

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When I woke up the next morning it took a while for me to register what had happened the previous night. As was usual after drinking copious amounts of Jack Daniels, my head felt as though it were stuffed with cotton wool and almost immediately my eyes were open I started craving coffee. It was just working up the strength to get out of bed and make some that was the problem. There was one blissful moment where I thought I was in a hotel room on my own until Edge grunted, rolled over and wrapped his arms around my waist. Then it all came flooding back to me and I groaned and buried my head in the pillow.

"Morning, Mrs Copeland," said Edge cheerfully and I groaned again. Don't tell me I'd married a fucking morning person! I just grunted in reply and snuggled further under the duvet. I just wanted to be left alone to sleep, and hopefully when I woke up I wouldn't be married anymore. "Hey, come on, don't be like that. We don't want to waste the day!"

"You want me to wake up, you get me coffee. Now!" I ordered sleepily, cuddling into the pillow.

"Is that any tone to take with your husband?" he teased, jabbing me in the side. I moaned and kicked him until he got the message and slipped out of bed. I pulled the duvet back over my head and was just about to slide back into sleep when it was ripped off of me. I was about to protest when a magical, shining cup of coffee appeared in my line of vision; I grabbed it and hugged it to my chest like a hot water bottle, gratefully inhaling the fumes before taking a sip.

"I take it you're not a morning person, then?" said Edge, sitting on the edge of the bed. I grunted in response, too absorbed in my coffee to really pay attention. "So , what does a guy need to do to get a little conversation around here?" he asked.

"Coff-ee," I said slowly. Had he not grasped that I needed coffee before absolutely everything else in the morning?

"All right, I give up. I'll see you downstairs for breakfast in about half an hour, okay?" I grunted a response and waved him away as I concentrated on the serious business of waking up.

As it turned out that was the last I saw of him that day. As I made my way to the breakfast bar Steph commandeered me to go through the contracts, and then the day was spent doing whatever else needed to be done. I drove Kit and I back home so that we could pack for a life on the road, and when we got back we discussed ring names and entrance music and filmed our entrance videos with a little help from Torrie Wilson, Ashley Massaro and Mickie James. Oh, and then there was the little chat with the WWE lawyers who determined that as the venue did have a licence for weddings, Edge and I were legally married. By the time we were finished it was almost eight and Kit was whisked away by Shawn to get ready for that evening's RAW. I decided to head up to my room and crash out for a bit; I was knackered, especially after driving for more than five hours in one day.

"Uh, where are you going?" demanded Torrie as I headed towards the lifts.

"Er, to go and rest?" I said hesitantly; the look on her face seemed to indicate that anything so boring was not welcome.

"Pfft, hell no! You've got to come and meet the rest of the Smackdown and ECW crew! Usually by now Matt and Shannon are plotting tricks to play on the rest of the cruisers, and me and Ashley are trying to catch Michelle and Chuck in a compromising position, and…" She continued babbling on, listing all the fun things that were likely to happen. Ashley just laughed.

"Okay, remember to breathe," she said, and Torrie took a deep breath and grinned. "Anyway, she's right. You've got to meet the guys. I know you'll love Matt and Shannon. Ooh, and Punk! And Drew, I can't understand what he's saying half the time but he's pretty."

"You're just trying to introduce her to hot guys so that she'll forget about Edge, aren't you?" laughed Torrie.

"What? Me? No!" said Ashley a little too quickly. "I just want to introduce her to the fun people, and every gang needs a bit of eye candy. Come on, all the cool people will be gathering in Matt's room about now." She tossed her hair behind her shoulder and led the way, bouncing enthusiastically.

"She has the HUGEST crush on Edge," Torrie whispered conspiratorially as Ashley whipped out her phone and started talking enthusiastically into it. "So don't be offended if one day she kicks your ass, even if it's only in the ring."

"Hey, it's okay, it's not like I intended it," I laughed. "Seriously, I'd never have done it if I thought for one second it was real."

"You mean you got tricked?" Torrie burst out laughing. "I never thought Edge was that desperate! Not that you're not hot and a totally lovely person, I'm sure you are," she added quickly. "I just meant that, well, he was pretty bummed out when Lita left him and he failed so many times to pick up chicks he was beginning to think that he wasn't attractive anymore, which is totally stupid because if only he wasn't wallowing in self pity he'd realise that Ashley is totally in love with him…"

"Am not," Ashley muttered under her breath and turned away to argue loudly with someone on the other end of the phone.

"Torrie, breathe," I laughed. She took a deep breath and grinned.

"Sorry. So yeah, anyway I guess his paranoia that he'd be alone forever meant that he had to trick someone into marrying him, huh? Damn, maybe I should try that?"

"I thought you and Punk were going to hook up?" Ashley asked as she shut her phone.

"Yeah, I'm still waiting for him to fix a date," Torrie said with a shy smile.

"Why wait for him? I say you just bop him on the head and drag him out by the hair," smirked Ashley. "I'm sure that you'll have a good time despite the concussion."

"Of course she will, if all he can do is smile vacantly and agree with everything you say it'll be the perfect date. I say do it, and I know where you can get your hands on some lead piping…" I began. Ashley snorted and threw her arm around my shoulders.

"I can see you'll fit right in with the gang. We're here," she added as we came to a stop in front of a door. She knocked on it but there was no answer, so she sighed and started hammering on it. "Matt, it's us. Matt! Where the hell is he - oh, there you are," she added as the door opened to reveal a dripping wet Matt Hardy wearing only a towel around his waist. My heart almost stopped beating and I tried to look cool and disinterested as I gazed at his muscular body and pretended not to notice that he still had shampoo in his hair. I don't think I was doing a very good job of it though, judging by the grin Torrie was giving me.

"Ashley Marie, I swear you're the most impatient person in the world," said Matt, his North Carolinian drawl going straight to my libido. "It wouldn't have killed you to wait a couple more minutes? A guy is allowed to shower occasionally, you know."

"You, washing? Is it November already?" Ashley teased as she stepped into the room. "Hey Shane," she added, waving at the room's other occupant, Shane Helms. He raised his arm in salute but otherwise gave no indication that he'd heard her; he was lounging on his bed with his eyes closed and his other arm bent under his head. "Guys, this is Elli, the new Diva."

"New Diva?" Shane sat up quickly, then groaned and clutched his head. "Ow. Headrush."

"Don't do it then," snorted Torrie.

"Bite me. Hey, Elli, I'm Shane. Come sit!" He shuffled up and patted the bed next to him.

"Shane loves meeting new people," Ashley explained.

"Hell yeah! You haven't met Nitro and Melina yet, have you?" he asked.

"No, not yet."

"Good, that means it'll be easier to convince you to hang out with us rather than them!" said Shane happily.

"Shane's determined to build an army against them and their crew. He and Miz have issues," Matt explained with a grin. "Hey, I'm Matt. I would come over and shake your hand, but…" he gestured at his dripping wet torso. I couldn't tear my gaze away as a droplet of water dripped from his hair and ran down his left pec. "Mind if I finish my shower?"

"No, you have to sit there all wet and naked," said Ashley. He made a face and flipped her the finger.

"You know, you could have answered the door," Matt said, hitting Shane on the head as he went past.

"I was sleeping!" he protested as Matt went back into the bathroom. The door shut behind him and as soon as the sound of running water could heard Ashley grinned and slapped me over the back of the head.

"Naughty! I caught you staring!" she said happily. "Tsk, tsk, you're married!"

"You're married?" asked Shane. "To who? Anyone I know?"

"Shane, didn't you pay attention to anything that happened at Survivor Series?" sighed Torrie.

"Kelly was wearing leather," he explained with a shrug. Torrie rolled her eyes and whacked his shoulder.

"Stop thinking with your libido," she said, punctuating every word with a sharp poke to the ribs.

"He can't help it, it's been ages since he got laid," teased Ashley. Shane whimpered and turned to me with big eyes.

"They're being mean to me," he said, his bottom lip trembling. "Hide me!" He tried to crawl between me and the wall. I laughed and patted his head.

"Awww, he's so cute! I want one!" I said.

"Hey, you're welcome to him," said Ashley. "It's not like we have any use for him."

"See? Mean!" Shane pouted, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"There, there. I'll look after you," I said, patting his cheek. "Provided you keep me well supplied with coffee, that is."

"Yes! Anything you say! Anything to escape the eeeeevil clutches of Ashley Marie," he said, launching a cushion at her head.

"Yeah, and how do you know she's not just lulling you into a false sense of security?" asked Ashley, catching the cushion with ease and just tossing it aside.

"She wouldn't do that. Would you?" asked Shane worriedly.

"Of course not," I said soothingly, patting his cheek.

"But, you know, she'd definitely say that if she was just lulling you into a false sense of security," Torrie pointed out.

"But she's not. Are you?" demanded Shane, looking at me closely for reassurance. I shook my head, and nodded at the girls when he'd turned away.

Just then Matt wandered back through from the shower, towel clamped firmly around his waist, looking sheepish. Once again, my attention was completely diverted and I couldn't stop myself staring; seeing a half-naked Matt was almost like a physical body-blow that took my breath away. Damn, why couldn't I have married him by accident instead of Edge? I wondered idly.

"Hey, look, the stripper's arrived!" laughed Ashley. "Come on, get that towel off! Off! Off! Off!" she jeered, clapping her hands.

"No way, man, I just forgot to take clothes into the shower with me."

"Aw, come on, you're never normally this shy, get the towel off!" said Torrie.

"No way, man! I don't expose myself in front of ladies," protested Matt.

"We're not ladies, you're safe. Get it off!"

"For the record, I have no desire to see Matt's parts ever again," said Shane quickly, but was completely ignored.

"No! Just let me grab some clothes and I'll - HEY!" Matt yelled as Torrie and Ashley made a grab for his towel. He jumped to the side, tripped over a discarded sneaker, and fell on the bed almost right on top of me and Shane. Ashley made a triumphant grab for Matt's towel just as he got back to his feet - and succeeded this time, ensuring that I got an eyeful of Matt's exposed crotch.

"Oh, dear god!" I squealed, and hurriedly covered my eyes. The image however seemed to be burned onto my retinas. Not that I was complaining, much, but married women shouldn't be ogling other men's privates.

"Ashley Marie! See what you've done? You've traumatised the new girl," scolded Matt. There was a squeal from Ashley and I guessed that Matt had flicked her with the towel; I was determined to keep my eyes firmly closed until I was sure that Matt was fully clothed again.

"I'll deal with you later," Matt said warningly, and then I heard the door slam. I slowly lowered my hands from my eyes and let out a breath that I wasn't even aware I had been holding.

"You were -so- checking him out!" said Ashley with a wicked grin, thumping me playfully on the shoulder.

"I was not!" I protested, feeling my face flush. I tried to conceal the grin that was trying to break out on my face, but judging by the triumphant look on Ashley's face, I wasn't succeeding.

"Then why have you gone red?" demanded Torrie.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because some random bloke had his bits in my face?" I suggested sarcastically.

"Some random -hot- bloke," said Torrie, leaning forward conspiratorially. "Come on, we all saw you staring. What would your husband think?"

"Yeah, you never did tell me who you're married to," said Shane, poking me in the side. "I need to know now because I'm sure your husband would love to know that you were perving over my best friend."

"You really should pay attention to what's going on other than what Kelly's wearing," said Torrie, rolling her eyes. "She married Edge last night. That's how she got into the company."

"Oh. Well, marrying into the company is one way to get noticed, I guess," said Shane, suddenly looking serious. "But, you know, if you're married to Edge you can't hang out with us."

"What? Why?" me and Torrie chorused.

"Because Edge and Matt have a complicated history, I'm sure you're aware of it?" asked Shane.

"Of course I'm aware of it, what wrestling fan isn't? I just don't see how me being married to Edge means you can't hang out with me."

"Because I would happily rip his arms and legs off and feed his remains to wild dogs if it was legal," said Matt, emerging from the bathroom fully clothed in jeans and a Slipknot shirt. "You know, it's a shame you married him. You seem like such a nice girl."

"Yeah, right, wait 'til you get to know me," I snorted. "But, you know, I thought it was part of the show. It wasn't, and now I'm stuck with him and believe me, it's awkward. Anyway, a girl needs friends who are completely separate from her husband. That way I have an escape route for when he really annoys me and I feel the urge to stave his skull in with something heavy."

"Why curb that urge, I say go for it," grinned Matt. "And, you know, I'd be happy to provide an alibi, man," he added.

"Tempting. I might just have to take you up on that at some point. He's a morning person, I'm not, it could get messy," I laughed.

"What I want to know is, how does Matt measure up to your hubby?" asked Ashley with a wicked smile.

"ASHLEY!" Matt roared, and threw a cushion at her head which she ducked, laughing.

"Actually, I wouldn't know. I've seen more of Matt than I have of my husband," I replied, blushing at the memory of naked Matt.

"No way!" exclaimed Torrie. "You mean you and Edge haven't… I don't believe that. I don't believe he had a woman in his bed and he didn't… I mean, did he even put moves on you?"

"No, we just talked. We may be married but I'm not about to sleep with someone I don't even know, I'm not a slut. I'm a good girl, I am," I said, with my best innocent look firmly in place.

"Yeah, I don't know why, but I don't believe that face," said Shane. "Maybe I've spent too much time hanging around Ashley, I don't know."

"Hey!" Ashley thumped his leg. "I didn't come here to be abused by you."

"You mean that's not the reason you hang out with us?" said Matt, affecting a shocked look. "You should have said something before."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, bite my big, juicy ass, Hardy," said Ashley, unearthing a big bottle of Southern Comfort. "We came here to party, right? So let's get started."

Alcohol, I quickly learned, attracted wrestlers like glitter attracts magpies. Within moments of the first drinks being poured we were surrounded; Shannon Moore, Drew McIntyre, Rey Mysterio, Chuck Palumbo, Michelle McCool, Kelly Kelly and CM Punk all turned up to join in the party. I got to know the guys through the medium of drinking games and when I left them several hours later I was completely hammered. Drew kindly offered to walk me to my room as his was right next door.

"You know, it's nice to meet another Brit that isn't a complete twat," Drew remarked as we stumbled down the corridor, each relying on the other to steer and consequently bouncing off the walls a lot. I shivered; Scottish Drew was widely regarded as the eye candy of the group, largely because of his accent. And, like the other girls, I was a sucker for a Scottish accent and could quite happily have paid Drew just to keep talking all night.

"Aw, I'm not a complete twat? Thanks, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all evening!" I said playfully, fluttering my eyelashes at him. He snorted and pushed me so that I stumbled.

"Behave, you're married," he laughed. "Besides, even if you weren't I wouldn't be interested. You're not my type."

"Aww." I pouted. "What is your type?"

"Male," he replied with a wink.

"Hey, you can't be gay, that's not fair! Gay, handsome -and- Scottish? That's lethal! Do you know how many hearts you'll break?" I scolded.

"That's why you love me," he laughed.

"Yeah, maybe. This is me," I said, giving him a hug. "Thanks for walking me back."

"No problem. But, just to warn you, if you keep me up all night with sex noise I won't be a happy bunny," he warned.

"No fear of that," I assured him. "See you tomorrow." I pushed open the door and grinned at Edge, who was lying on his bed, reading a book. "Hey honey, I'm home!"

"And where have you been?" he demanded, pushing his hair out of his eyes and scowling up at me. "I haven't seen you all day."

"I had stuff to sort out, then I went to make some friends," I said happily, snuggling up to him on the bed.

"And you didn't think to make friends with your own husband first? Or at least, give me a call?" he asked with a pout, looking hurt.

"You haven't actually given me your number. You might want to change that," I pointed out.

"Oh. I thought I did," he said, looking confused. "Anyway, don't worry, I'm not mad. I will say, though, that once the tapings are out of the way tomorrow I'm taking you on a date, so don't go running off with your new friends, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed, leaning back against the pillows and smiling as I closed my eyes. I was glad Torrie and Ashley had dragged me over to Matt and Shane's hotel room; I had got on particularly well with Shane, Matt, Torrie, Punk, Rey and Kelly, and I was looking forward to working with them. It sounded mental, but as I drifted off to sleep, I thought that marrying a stranger was the best thing I had ever done.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hi guys! Thanks for your continued patience as I struggle to get chapters out. This time, it's been Guitar Hero 3 that's providing the distraction, along with my daughter demanding more and more attention every day. Still, I managed another chapter, yay!_

_Also, thanks to my reviewers! I'm glad I can make you smile:). _

_Like it? Hate it? Let me know! _

_Ells xxx_

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The weeks and months flew past at a speed that defied logic, and I was startled to realise that we had been with the company for four months, and that Wrestlemania 24 was just around the corner. Kit and I had both been busy making friends and getting noticed within the company, and she was busy feuding with Melina after taking Ashley's side during an argument between the two. I had started out by feuding with Lita when she first returned at Armageddon as the bitter ex, but we were now working together as she helped me hone my skills so that I could go after the Women's Championship, as Steph had recently announced that the Women's Championship would be contested for on all brands.

Over the last few weeks as well, the brand extension had been increasingly ignored as wrestlers from all three brands would just pop up on whatever show they felt like. It was great for me and Kit, as we got to make friends on each brand. Kit had been claimed as a little sister by Shawn and Hunter, whereas my 'big brother' - surprisingly, as he was currently feuding with my husband - was Taker. The first time I'd met him I had fangirled all over him, which he thought was cute, and he'd decided to take me under his wing and look out for me. Of course, 'looking out for me' meant telling me to dump Edge at least three times an hour, but I quickly learned to ignore it.

Edge and I were getting on brilliantly, too - when we weren't arguing over my friendship with Matt Hardy, of course. Short of actively banning me from seeing him, Edge had tried everything in order to prevent me from hanging out with Matt. On the other hand, Matt and Shane seemed to be working together to find excuses to get me away from Edge, and on the occasions that they were successful they'd proceed in telling me that my husband was evil incarnate and that I should divorce him quick before I got sucked into Hell.

"I wouldn't mind, but I actually like him," I said to Lita as we trained. Lita was going to wrestle Beth Phoenix for the Women's Title at Mania, and I was to be her manager for the event. I was supremely excited to be involved in Mania, and channelled all of my nervous energy into training.

"You get used to it after a while," she assured me as she took me through some stretches. "In this business you're always going to get on with people who hate other people that you get on with. It's unavoidable with a roster of this size."

"I just wish that people wouldn't keep on about it, though. You'd think I'd married a monster," I muttered sullenly.

"You did." I bent backwards and smiled up at Matt and Jeff, who grinned at us both.

"So tell me, Elli, are Adam's eyes lit with the very fires of Hades and does he trail unspeakable ooze from his… you know, when you're in the bedroom?" asked Jeff innocently.

"Nope. Sorry, Jeff. I wouldn't listen to your big brother's bedtime stories anymore, if I were you," I replied, glaring at Matt, who looked offended that his integrity was being called into question.

"He does!" Matt protested. "He just does it when you're not looking."

"Give it a rest, will you?" I sighed. "I'm trying to train here."

"I know, and I could watch you train all day," replied Matt with a cheeky grin. I rolled my eyes and managed to incorporate kicking him into my next stretch. "Hey, what was that for?"

"You being a big perv, now leave us be," I ordered, making shooing motions with my arms.

"You're so mean!" Matt pouted, and he and Jeff relocated to a different part of the gym. Lita watched them go with a smirk on her face.

"You do know that he's only acting that way because he's incredibly jealous, right?" she asked, leaning forward conspiratorially, and making it look like a hamstring stretch.

"Matt? Nah," I said dismissively. "He's just a stubborn sod who can't let go of the past."

"That too," Lita conceded. "But you've got to admit, he does flirt with you an awful lot."

"He flirts with Shane and Shannon too, and I'm pretty sure he's not trying to get into their pants," I laughed.

"You're determined not to see it, aren't you?" asked Lita.

"See what? There's nothing to see. We're friends, and we'll never be anything but friends while I'm still married to Adam," I said firmly.

"Ah, you say that now, but I was with Matt for six years, I know him. All this casual flirting and random bouts of tomfoolery masks a big, burning passion. He'll eventually reach a point, I reckon around about Vengeance, where he can't take it anymore and declare his undying love for you, and there'll be fireworks and awkwardness and I'll just stand back and laugh at you all," said Lita happily.

"You're so nice," I said sarcastically.

"I know!" said Lita with a broad grin. "It's why you guys all love me. Hey, Kit!" she added, as my sister walked into the gym, chattering away with Ashley. "I was just telling your sister about how one day Matt will snap and tell her he wants to sex her up and it'll be fun."

"Yeah, you couldn't speak up a little? I think there are people in Australia who didn't quite hear you," teased Kit as Matt looked up with an alarmed look on his face.

"Oh, sorry. Matt wants to sex Elli," yelled Lita, cupping her hands around her mouth. Matt pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, looking like he would quite like to start headbutting the wall, while Jeff just watched the scene unfold, a faint smirk on his face.

"You're mean," laughed Kit.

"Yeah, but you love me for it," said Lita, getting to her feet. "It could have been worse, though. I could have yelled out about the immense attraction you have for Jeff." Kit shot me a sideways glare but otherwise kept her face impressively neutral. Jeff's face went carefully blank apart from one eyebrow, which was half-raised.

"Don't know what you're talking about," said Kit convincingly. Convincing, that is, to anyone that hadn't known her for years; I saw the half glance she sent towards Jeff, and the almost imperceptible nod he gave back to her. Those two had been subtly flirting from the moment she had set foot in the RAW locker room, and Shannon was running a book on who would cave in first and ask the other out on a date, and when. And if Jeff was waiting for Kit to show any sign that she was interested, he'd be waiting until the end of time; she could be quite stubborn when she wanted to be.

"Well, what have we here? Just what I like to see; three lovely ladies dressed in skin-tight gym wear." Kit went very tense and Lita rolled her eyes as Chris Masters smarmed his way into the room. We all had major heat with Masters; he loved the ladies almost as much as he loved himself, and was constantly trying to sleep with one of the Divas. Lately, his attention had been focussed on Kit - probably because she was quite vocal in her dislike for him.

"GAH!" Kit shuddered and moved out of the way as he tried to snake his arm around her shoulders.

"Aw, don't be that way, beauty," he said with a smirk. "You know you want me. Why fight it any longer?"

"How can I put this in words you'll understand? Fuck off, you slimy, oily creep," said Kit.

"Baby, why are you so hostile? You see, when God made me as perfect as I am, he intended for me to have a beautiful woman by my side…" began Masters, but Kit interrupted.

"Well I'm sorry to say that it looked like he rushed your ass. Did you lose the bit that said 'Please do crunches in order to prevent this ass gaining its own gravity field', or did you need help with some of the longer words so you couldn't be bothered to read it?" snapped Kit. Lita hastily turned her giggle into a hacking cough and I turned away so that Masters wouldn't see me smirking. I always loved it when Kit verbally owned Masters, although it wasn't hard; it was like Big Show going up against Hornswoggle when it came to a battle of wits between those two.

"Baby, you don't mean that," said Masters, once again displaying remarkable talent for not hearing anything that didn't fit in to his deluded world.

"Hey, the lady said for you to leave her alone," said Jeff warningly. Although he hadn't changed his position his general manner indicated that should the need arise he would love nothing more than to pound Masters into the ground. Masters ignored him, and took a step closer towards Kit.

"Step. Away. From. The. Princess." Masters jumped a mile as Hunter growled in his ear; he'd been so absorbed in getting what he wanted that he'd failed to notice Shawn and Hunter arriving in the gym a moment before. Hunter stepped forwards and jabbed Masters in the chest. "I've told you before, Masters, the Princess is off limits," he snarled.

"You do realise he's going to be like that with every guy that shows interest in you, don't you?" asked Shawn, wrapping his arm around Kit's shoulders while Hunter got on with menacing Masters.

"Yeah, I know," sighed Kit heavily.

"You know that if he could, he'd go out and buy you a chastity belt, right? And I fully support that idea," Shawn continued. "We shall be your Lord Protectors from now until the end of time, ensuring that you never shall be touched by man! And, you know, it's a good thing that you're not interested in anyone in the company, otherwise Hunter would have them strung up from the arena lights," Shawn added.

"Yeah, great," said Kit sarcastically. "What have I done to suffer enforced chastity?" she asked of the world in general.

"You're my superfan, and Hunter's princess," said Shawn, as if he was amazed that she was even asking the question.

"So it's chastity belts and chaperones for the rest of my life?" asked Kit.

"Yep! Unless a guy passes Hunter's very strict, very demanding guy test, which won't ever happen because Hunter keeps changing the rules," said Shawn happily. "And hey, are you going to complain if it keeps guys like him away?" he asked, as Hunter forcibly ejected Masters from the gym.

"I guess not," sighed Kit.

"Well, then!" Shawn slapped her on the back and went to join his friend in a warm-up.

"Shoot me now?" asked Kit hopefully. Lita laughed and shook her head.

"You're on your own here, Princess. I'm not interfering in one of Shawn and Hunter's schemes, not after the last time."

"Coward," she muttered sullenly. I checked my watch and yelped.

"Sorry guys, I've got to run, I'm due at a signing event in half an hour," I said. "You don't mind, do you?" I asked Lita.

"Not at all, I'll just work with Kit," said Lita, waving her hand dismissively.

"Thanks. I'll see you guys later." I grabbed my gym bag and headed for the exit, ignoring Matt's sarcastic shout of goodbye.

The rest of the time before the start of 'Mania was spent attending promotional events with Edge or helping Lita prepare for her match against Beth Phoenix. I barely had enough time to even start feeling nervous - until about an hour before Mania was due to start.

"Will you sit down! You're making me nervous," Lita barked, as I nervously paced the locker room. As usual, we were hanging out in the men's' locker room. It was always more lively in there, the guys weren't bothered by our appearance and in fact actively encouraged it, and there was also the added bonus of not having to deal with Melina, Jillian or Beth. Kit was currently sat with Paul London, Brian Kendrick and Ashley and if she felt nervous, she wasn't showing it. But then again, she didn't have a match.

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little wired," I replied. "It's the biggest pay-per-view of the year, what if I fuck up?"

"You haven't on any of the previous pay-per-views, have you?" asked Lita reasonably.

"No, but none of the previous pay-per-views were Wrestlemania," I pointed out.

"Chill, baby," said Edge, grabbing hold of my shoulders and starting to massage them with his thumbs. I started to relax immediately and closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation. "You're just nervous because it's your first. It gets better with every one you do." He wrapped his arms around me when he was done and I leaned into him, enjoying the hug. I would be the first to admit that Edge and I weren't in love and, if I was completely honest with myself, I couldn't see myself falling in love with him. But he was good company, funny, attractive, and - let's face it - it was convenient.. Without him there was no way I would even be considered close to the running for the Women's Championship this early. Kit and I had improved considerably under the tutelage of Fit Finlay, but Vince was still wary of pushing us too far, too fast.

Mentally, I ran through the scheduled card for the evening. Jeff was due to face Randy Orton and Hunter in a Triple Threat match for the WWE Championship, and Edge was due to face Taker in a Casket Match for the World Heavyweight Title. Matt, Rey Rey, MVP, Ken Kennedy, Chris Jericho, Cody Rhodes, Johnny Nitro and The Miz were in the traditional Money In The Bank Ladder Match, Paul and Brian were facing off against Deuce and Domino, Jesse and Festus and Cade and Murdoch in a WWE Tag Team Title Unification Match, Jamie Noble against Chuck Palumbo in a Falls Count Anywhere match, Umaga was facing Santino Marella and Carlito in a Handicap Match, and then there was the big announcement that Steph had promised sometime during the event.

And then of course there was Lita, with me as manager, against Beth Phoenix. I whimpered, shook myself free of Edge, and started pacing again.

"Stop it!" Lita yelled, throwing a shoe at me. I ducked; it missed and hit Jamie Noble. "Look what you made me do! Sorry, Jamie," she added.

"'S okay," said Jamie pleasantly, his attention momentarily diverted by the sight of his nemesis entering the room.

"Okay guys, this is it, Wrestlemania 24 is just a few hours away." The general background babble ceased as Vince started speaking; I hadn't even noticed him come into the room. "Our goal, as always, is to make this the biggest, the best, the most financially successful Wrestlemania ever!" There was an almost manic gleam in his eye as he said this, as was usual whenever he was talking about money. "So get out there and put on a good show, people. Noble, Palumbo, you're up first." He jerked his thumb towards the door, and Chuck and Noble scurried out obediently. The butterflies in my stomach seemed to increase as Vince locked eyes with me and smiled.

"Elli, can I have a word?" he asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and leading me away from Lita and Edge. "I just wanted to say," he added, once we were out of earshot, "that you have really impressed me these last few weeks. I admit, I was sceptical when Steph suggested we run with two untried girls from the Indies, but thankfully it's a gamble that's paid off."

"Thanks, Mr McMahon," I said warily, unsure of where this was going.

"No need to thank me just yet," said Vince, his eyes shining. "The fans love you. Your merchandise is selling well. I think, even without your husband, you have the potential to be profitable to me, very profitable indeed. How would you like to be the face of the WWE women's division?"

"W-what? I mean, yes, sir, I would, very much," I stammered. "A-are you sure I'm ready, though?"

"Your merchandise sales speak for themselves. Of course, should this gamble not pay off, you'll be relegated to jobber status faster than you can say 'decline in profits'," he warned. "I'm prepared to take that risk. Are you?"

"Well, yes, who wouldn't be?" I asked, still feeling slightly shell-shocked.

"Excellent," said Vince, smiling a smile not dissimilar to that of a huge marine animal with sharp teeth. "Then here's what I need you to do…"

We were up after Chuck and Noble's match, which Noble ended up winning. I was so wracked with nerves as we waited by the gorilla that I was sure I wouldn't be able to move, but as usual once the music hit and I strode out onto the ramp at Lita's side, the nerves dispersed as I got on with working the crowd. She slid into the ring and stared down a very haughty-looking Beth Phoenix, while I took my position in the corner.

My nerves vanished completely as I focused on the match. I didn't have much to do, although I did manage to distract the referee, after Lita had taken a brutal chokeslam from Beth, long enough for her to recover. Lita was a fighter but Beth was strong, and I was worried that even Lita's ability wouldn't be enough to get the win. I got in the ring and headed towards Beth; she turned to chase me out, which distracted her for long enough for Lita to hit the Twist of Fate and pick up the win.

Lita's music blared out of the speakers, and she held the title aloft while I ran over to her and gave her a hug. She hugged me back - and I turned, delivering a brutal DDT that left her - and everyone else in the arena - stunned. I picked up the belt and smirked as I held it over her prone body. She stared at me in disbelief, and I dropped the belt beside her and rolled out of the ring, my ears ringing to a chorus of boos from the crowd.


End file.
